Last name: _________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ______ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right
Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name_________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name: _________________ 3rd Spouse's Name: _________________
Lover's Name: ________________________ 2nd Lover's Name: ___________________
Relationship to spouse: [_] Sister [_] Aunt [_] Brother [_] Uncle [_] Mother [_] Son [_] Father [_] Daughter [_] Cousin [_] Pet
Number of children living in household: _____ Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____
Mother's Name: ___________________ Father's Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? ___ Total number of vehicles that you own ___
Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Where your firearms are kept: [_] truck [_] kitchen [_] bedroom [_] bathroom [_] shed
Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_
Do you have a gun rack? [_] Yes [_] No; if no, please explain: _____________________
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: [_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe [_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest [_] Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe: [_] Weekly [_] Monthly [_] Not applicable
Color of teeth: [_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow [_] Brown [_] Black [_] N/A
How many?_____
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road? [_] 200-400 miles [_] over 400 miles [_] what's a miles?
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Handmade Wooden USB Stick
Each Oooms Wooden USB Stick is unique and handmade in The Netherlands by tiny little renegade lumberjack gnomes who wear pointy red hats and smoke pipes after second breakfast. It's about $89 dollars for a 1GB stick, which makes us think that those crafty little gnomes keep a tidy sum of gold tucked away somewhere.
from : http://www.gadgetmadness.com
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Perks of being over 40...
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Top 20 Things Your Lady Friend Will Never Tell You
1. I'll swallow it all... I love the taste of cum.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
4. Shouldn't you be down the bar with your friends?
5. That fart was great! Do another one!
6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes in the house.
7. You're so sexy with a hangover.
8. I'd rather go and play Nintendo than go shopping.
9. Let's start subscribing to Penthouse.
10. Would you like to see a video of me going down on my girlfriend?
11. Just for a change can we try anal sex tonight?
12. I really like Rugby League, can you take me to a game?
13. You'd better drive, you're far safer than I am, and besides everyone knows women can't drive.
14. Actually we shouldn't have been given the vote, we're better off in the kitchen.
15. I think a big ole Harley is a great idea.
16. I don't care if my butt looks big in this, let's just go and get shit-faced.
17. We haven't gone out with your friends for a while, shall we all go to the boozer this evening?
18. Why can't you let your hair down and have a few vodka chasers with me?
19. I know you're already late for work, but can I gag on it just one more time?
20. Aim where you like, it's really good for my skin.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
4. Shouldn't you be down the bar with your friends?
5. That fart was great! Do another one!
6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes in the house.
7. You're so sexy with a hangover.
8. I'd rather go and play Nintendo than go shopping.
9. Let's start subscribing to Penthouse.
10. Would you like to see a video of me going down on my girlfriend?
11. Just for a change can we try anal sex tonight?
12. I really like Rugby League, can you take me to a game?
13. You'd better drive, you're far safer than I am, and besides everyone knows women can't drive.
14. Actually we shouldn't have been given the vote, we're better off in the kitchen.
15. I think a big ole Harley is a great idea.
16. I don't care if my butt looks big in this, let's just go and get shit-faced.
17. We haven't gone out with your friends for a while, shall we all go to the boozer this evening?
18. Why can't you let your hair down and have a few vodka chasers with me?
19. I know you're already late for work, but can I gag on it just one more time?
20. Aim where you like, it's really good for my skin.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
AFI's 100 YEARS...100 MOVIE QUOTES
1
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
GONE WITH THE WIND
1939
2
I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
THE GODFATHER
1972
3
You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
ON THE WATERFRONT
1954
4
Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
1939
5
Here's looking at you, kid.
CASABLANCA
1942
6
Go ahead, make my day.
SUDDEN IMPACT
1983
7
All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.
SUNSET BLVD.
1950
8
May the Force be with you.
STAR WARS
1977
9
Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.
ALL ABOUT EVE
1950
10
You talking to me?
TAXI DRIVER
1976
11
What we've got here is failure to communicate.
COOL HAND LUKE
1967
12
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
APOCALYPSE NOW
1979
13
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
LOVE STORY
1970
14
The stuff that dreams are made of.
THE MALTESE FALCON
1941
15
E.T. phone home.
E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
1982
16
They call me Mister Tibbs!
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT
1967
17
Rosebud.
CITIZEN KANE
1941
18
Made it, Ma! Top of the world!
WHITE HEAT
1949
19
I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
NETWORK
1976
20
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
CASABLANCA
1942
21
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
1991
22
Bond. James Bond.
DR. NO
1962
23
There's no place like home.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
1939
24
I am big! It's the pictures that got small.
SUNSET BLVD.
1950
25
Show me the money!
JERRY MAGUIRE
1996
26
Why don't you come up sometime and see me?
SHE DONE HIM WRONG
1933
27
I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
MIDNIGHT COWBOY
1969
28
Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.'
CASABLANCA
1942
29
You can't handle the truth!
A FEW GOOD MEN
1992
30
I want to be alone.
GRAND HOTEL
1932
31
After all, tomorrow is another day!
GONE WITH THE WIND
1939
32
Round up the usual suspects.
CASABLANCA
1942
33
I'll have what she's having.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
1989
34
You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.
TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT
1944
35
You're gonna need a bigger boat.
JAWS
1975
36
Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!
THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE
1948
37
I'll be back.
THE TERMINATOR
1984
38
Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
THE PRIDE OF THE YANKEES
1942
39
If you build it, he will come.
FIELD OF DREAMS
1989
40
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
FORREST GUMP
1994
41
We rob banks.
BONNIE AND CLYDE
1967
42
Plastics.
THE GRADUATE
1967
43
We'll always have Paris.
CASABLANCA
1942
44
I see dead people.
THE SIXTH SENSE
1999
45
Stella! Hey, Stella!
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
1951
46
Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars.
NOW, VOYAGER
1942
47
Shane. Shane. Come back!
SHANE
1953
48
Well, nobody's perfect.
SOME LIKE IT HOT
1959
49
It's alive! It's alive!
FRANKENSTEIN
1931
50
Houston, we have a problem.
APOLLO 13
1995
51
You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?
DIRTY HARRY
1971
52
You had me at "hello."
JERRY MAGUIRE
1996
53
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
ANIMAL CRACKERS
1930
54
There's no crying in baseball!
A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN
1992
55
La-dee-da, la-dee-da.
ANNIE HALL
1977
56
A boy's best friend is his mother.
PSYCHO
1960
57
Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.
WALL STREET
1987
58
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
THE GODFATHER II
1974
59
As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.
GONE WITH THE WIND
1939
60
Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!
SONS OF THE DESERT
1933
61
Say "hello" to my little friend!
SCARFACE
1983
62
What a dump.
BEYOND THE FOREST
1949
63
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?
THE GRADUATE
1967
64
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
DR. STRANGELOVE
1964
65
Elementary, my dear Watson.
THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
1939
66
Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.
PLANET OF THE APES
1968
67
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
CASABLANCA
1942
68
Here's Johnny!
THE SHINING
1980
69
They're here!
POLTERGEIST
1982
70
Is it safe?
MARATHON MAN
1976
71
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!
THE JAZZ SINGER
1927
72
No wire hangers, ever!
MOMMIE DEAREST
1981
73
Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?
LITTLE CAESAR
1930
74
Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown.
CHINATOWN
1974
75
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
1951
76
Hasta la vista, baby.
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
1991
77
Soylent Green is people!
SOYLENT GREEN
1973
78
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
1968
79
Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious…and don't call me Shirley.
AIRPLANE!
1980
80
Yo, Adrian!
ROCKY
1976
81
Hello, gorgeous.
FUNNY GIRL
1968
82
Toga! Toga!
NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE
1978
83
Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.
DRACULA
1931
84
Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast.
KING KONG
1933
85
My precious.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: TWO TOWERS
2002
86
Attica! Attica!
DOG DAY AFTERNOON
1975
87
Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!
42ND STREET
1933
88
Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!
ON GOLDEN POND
1981
89
Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.
KNUTE ROCKNE ALL AMERICAN
1940
90
A martini. Shaken, not stirred.
GOLDFINGER
1964
91
Who's on first.
THE NAUGHTY NINETIES
1945
92
Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
CADDYSHACK
1980
93
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
AUNTIE MAME
1958
94
I feel the need - the need for speed!
TOP GUN
1986
95
Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
1989
96
Snap out of it!
MOONSTRUCK
1987
97
My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you.
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY
1942
98
Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
DIRTY DANCING
1987
99
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
WIZARD OF OZ, THE
1939
100
I'm king of the world!
TITANIC
1997
From : http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/quotes.aspx#list
1
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
GONE WITH THE WIND
1939
2
I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
THE GODFATHER
1972
3
You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
ON THE WATERFRONT
1954
4
Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
1939
5
Here's looking at you, kid.
CASABLANCA
1942
6
Go ahead, make my day.
SUDDEN IMPACT
1983
7
All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.
SUNSET BLVD.
1950
8
May the Force be with you.
STAR WARS
1977
9
Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.
ALL ABOUT EVE
1950
10
You talking to me?
TAXI DRIVER
1976
11
What we've got here is failure to communicate.
COOL HAND LUKE
1967
12
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
APOCALYPSE NOW
1979
13
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
LOVE STORY
1970
14
The stuff that dreams are made of.
THE MALTESE FALCON
1941
15
E.T. phone home.
E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
1982
16
They call me Mister Tibbs!
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT
1967
17
Rosebud.
CITIZEN KANE
1941
18
Made it, Ma! Top of the world!
WHITE HEAT
1949
19
I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
NETWORK
1976
20
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
CASABLANCA
1942
21
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
1991
22
Bond. James Bond.
DR. NO
1962
23
There's no place like home.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
1939
24
I am big! It's the pictures that got small.
SUNSET BLVD.
1950
25
Show me the money!
JERRY MAGUIRE
1996
26
Why don't you come up sometime and see me?
SHE DONE HIM WRONG
1933
27
I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
MIDNIGHT COWBOY
1969
28
Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.'
CASABLANCA
1942
29
You can't handle the truth!
A FEW GOOD MEN
1992
30
I want to be alone.
GRAND HOTEL
1932
31
After all, tomorrow is another day!
GONE WITH THE WIND
1939
32
Round up the usual suspects.
CASABLANCA
1942
33
I'll have what she's having.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
1989
34
You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.
TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT
1944
35
You're gonna need a bigger boat.
JAWS
1975
36
Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!
THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE
1948
37
I'll be back.
THE TERMINATOR
1984
38
Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
THE PRIDE OF THE YANKEES
1942
39
If you build it, he will come.
FIELD OF DREAMS
1989
40
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
FORREST GUMP
1994
41
We rob banks.
BONNIE AND CLYDE
1967
42
Plastics.
THE GRADUATE
1967
43
We'll always have Paris.
CASABLANCA
1942
44
I see dead people.
THE SIXTH SENSE
1999
45
Stella! Hey, Stella!
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
1951
46
Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars.
NOW, VOYAGER
1942
47
Shane. Shane. Come back!
SHANE
1953
48
Well, nobody's perfect.
SOME LIKE IT HOT
1959
49
It's alive! It's alive!
FRANKENSTEIN
1931
50
Houston, we have a problem.
APOLLO 13
1995
51
You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?
DIRTY HARRY
1971
52
You had me at "hello."
JERRY MAGUIRE
1996
53
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
ANIMAL CRACKERS
1930
54
There's no crying in baseball!
A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN
1992
55
La-dee-da, la-dee-da.
ANNIE HALL
1977
56
A boy's best friend is his mother.
PSYCHO
1960
57
Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.
WALL STREET
1987
58
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
THE GODFATHER II
1974
59
As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.
GONE WITH THE WIND
1939
60
Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!
SONS OF THE DESERT
1933
61
Say "hello" to my little friend!
SCARFACE
1983
62
What a dump.
BEYOND THE FOREST
1949
63
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?
THE GRADUATE
1967
64
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
DR. STRANGELOVE
1964
65
Elementary, my dear Watson.
THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
1939
66
Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.
PLANET OF THE APES
1968
67
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
CASABLANCA
1942
68
Here's Johnny!
THE SHINING
1980
69
They're here!
POLTERGEIST
1982
70
Is it safe?
MARATHON MAN
1976
71
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!
THE JAZZ SINGER
1927
72
No wire hangers, ever!
MOMMIE DEAREST
1981
73
Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?
LITTLE CAESAR
1930
74
Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown.
CHINATOWN
1974
75
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
1951
76
Hasta la vista, baby.
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
1991
77
Soylent Green is people!
SOYLENT GREEN
1973
78
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
1968
79
Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious…and don't call me Shirley.
AIRPLANE!
1980
80
Yo, Adrian!
ROCKY
1976
81
Hello, gorgeous.
FUNNY GIRL
1968
82
Toga! Toga!
NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE
1978
83
Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.
DRACULA
1931
84
Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast.
KING KONG
1933
85
My precious.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: TWO TOWERS
2002
86
Attica! Attica!
DOG DAY AFTERNOON
1975
87
Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!
42ND STREET
1933
88
Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!
ON GOLDEN POND
1981
89
Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.
KNUTE ROCKNE ALL AMERICAN
1940
90
A martini. Shaken, not stirred.
GOLDFINGER
1964
91
Who's on first.
THE NAUGHTY NINETIES
1945
92
Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
CADDYSHACK
1980
93
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
AUNTIE MAME
1958
94
I feel the need - the need for speed!
TOP GUN
1986
95
Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
1989
96
Snap out of it!
MOONSTRUCK
1987
97
My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you.
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY
1942
98
Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
DIRTY DANCING
1987
99
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
WIZARD OF OZ, THE
1939
100
I'm king of the world!
TITANIC
1997
From : http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/quotes.aspx#list
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