You Know Your're Trailer Trash When...

Your junior prom had a daycare.

You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You let your 12 year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

Funny pic

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK PAGAN IF...

If your ceremonial chalice says "Budweiser" on it ... ...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If chewing tobacco is considered a sacred herb... ...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If your circle dance includes the words "dosey-do",Or if your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star on the Hollywood "Walk Of Fame"...You may be a redneck Pagan.

Now if your coven chose it's High Priest at a belching contest, Or if they chose their High Priestess at a wet t-shirt night...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If your anointing oil smells like "Old Spice"...And if you have ever refilled your chalice from a keg...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If your Goddess picture says "Miss September" at the bottom, Or your God statue looks a little too much like Elvis Presley...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If you have ever written a spell on the back of a Denny's menu... Or if you have ever cancelled a coven meeting to watch Pay-Per-View wrestling on TV...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If your children and your dog have the same magical name (Skeeter! Get on over here and cast this circle!)...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If your cakes and ale consist of moonpies and a cold "Bud"... Or if your coven sword says "Power Rangers" on it...You may be a redneck Pagan!

If your divination kit consists of a picture of Dionne Warwick and a 1-900 number...
Or if your idea of a pilgrimage to a sacred circle is going to the Indy 500.... You're probably a redneck Pagan!

Now if your ceremonial head-dress has a bill and says "Chevrolet" on it, Or if your Sabbat Queen's head-dress is made out of those little nylon flowers the veterans hand out in front of the supermarket... You're probably a redneck Pagan.


Now, if your covenstead says "Winnebago" on the side, you're NOT necessarily a redneck Pagan, but if your covenstead's up on blocks, well then...You may be a redneck Pagan.

Now if your Goddess visualizations look too much like Pamela Anderson..... Or if your initiatory ordeal consisted of being blindfolded with a confederate flag and leg-wrestling...You may be a redneck Pagan.

If your idea of a Pagan festival consists of a tailgate party and tickets to the Superbowl...Or if your ceremonial chants are by Garth Brooks... You're probably a redneck Pagan!

If your coven's guided meditations start out with a burger at "Hooter's", or if you think a "Gerald Gardner" is farm equipment...You are definitely a redneck Pagan!

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear :

10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"

9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"

8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters

7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!

6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith

5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"

4. Ears is tasty

3. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me!

2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring"

1. He ran out of gum