7 Degrees of Blonde

ONE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung
up.

The husband inquired, "Who was that?" to which the wife replied, "I
don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

TWO

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde
says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the
blonde is really angry.. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts
it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The
blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOUR

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's
easy: W."

FIVE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

SIX

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a
scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper
arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes,
officer, I'm justfine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did
this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in
front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I
swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right
and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and
forth."

SEVEN

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she
moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the
police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"